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Howdy Friends!
You’re likely familiar with the word schadenfreude which means taking delight in another’s misfortune. Have you heard of mitfreude? I’ve been thinking about this word for a while. It doesn’t seem to be in common use anywhere, but it’s the opposite of schadenfreude. It means delighting in another person’s joy.
If you think about it, mitfreude is an example of empathy. Most people who’ve ever had a kind, supportive friend have experienced the value of empathy. And yet, empathy has recently been denounced by certain high-ranking officials as a negative quality.
What? How could identifying with another’s feelings be a bad thing?
That’s bullshit. Let’s change it.
Let’s add MORE empathy!
There are so many ways we could start, but today let’s start with Mudita—a Pali word that translates to sympathetic or empathetic joy. It’s the Buddhist concept of rejoicing in the joy or good fortune of others… so basically, mitfreude. Interestingly, it’s sometimes described as the opposite of jealousy.
To practice empathetic joy, begin with a short meditation.
First, think of a situation where you’ve felt happy for a loved one experiencing good fortune. Remember how it made you feel, and recreate those feelings. Spend some time with that, noticing any physical sensations. If you’d like, you can repeat a phrase in your mind, something like: “I wish you continued happiness.”
Next, think of a person for whom you have good feelings but are not super close with. Imagine this person feeling joy at their circumstances. Try recreating the happy feelings you felt for your loved one’s joy, focusing it toward this person. Repeat a phrase as above if that’s helpful.
Repeat as above focusing on a person you feel neutral toward.
To progress the practice, work up to focusing on someone you have a complicated relationship with, then possibly a person you dislike. If you try either of these and you just can’t muster empathetic joy, don’t feel bad. That’s totally normal. We practice because it’s not easy.
Close your meditation focusing on all beings everywhere.
Imagine if mitfreude made its way into popular lexicon the way schadenfreude has. Maybe it hasn’t been adopted yet because it’s not in line with what’s popular. But could intentionally adopting the word have a positive effect on society? We could try that, too.
Hope to see you Sunday morning via the magic of Zoom.
Sending you wishes for the joy of happy circumstances!
(And an abundance of cool breezes)
-Steph
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